-9:43 AM:))

I just don't get it. What did I do? We we're so close before. Sitting anywhere till it's 9.30 or 10. Now, you won't even talk to me and I clearly don't even know why. I've been asking but you still won't reply. This sucks you know. Not having you to share all my comments and funny stories and stuff. I really don't understand why. Please say something.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-10:12 AM:))

Mamaaa.. It's my 17th birthday today. I wish you were here to be with us. I went to the kubo just now to see them bones shifted to the new place. Dada's bones to be specific. I even touched it. haha. And then I went to urs. Gosh I havent seen u in a long long long time ma. And I am still wondering if u are comiing home. Most of the nights, I know you are beside me cos I felt ur presence. Like right now.. Anyways.. I guess my birthdae wish of having that cake shaped like a boxing glove or a boxing ring won't come true. It would be awesome but I dont think its important. Cos ive thought of a new wish. A wish that no one can put a price on. My wish? To be a better man. Not just for myself ofcourse. For everyone who knows me and for anyone who wants to know me. I know u've wished me happy birthdae but I just wish i can feel ur kiss on my cheek and me doing the same thing to u. U know... Aaaaahh.. tears.. Hope to see u soon mama. I love you. Till the end of this world and the beginning of the next, I will still LOVE YOU.

Happy birthday to me. Hooray.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-6:34 AM:))

Most of the things isn't how it is before. I wonder why. After saying some stuff. Some things have changed. This sucks. dammit.

Well, ive shaved my head again. And this time, a friend says I look fierce. And another says i look good. Okay laaaa... Nothing much to update. Bubbye now.

sry

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-7:36 PM:))

Well, in a few weeks... My birthday will be arriving. Im not expecting many gifts due to the recession now. Actually, im not expecting any gifts at all. I told bestfriend about my wish. Just that one particular wish. How it would be sooo awesome to have a cake shaped like a boxing glove. Or a cake shape like a boxing ring. Wouldnt it be super cool! Wow.. Thinking of it already gets me nervous. hahaaa..

Anyways, its soo nice to have someone to listen to your problems and comfort you, but its sad when you found out he/she is going away for some time. Bestfriend is going away for..say, 2-3 weeks? And worst part is, she is away on my birthday. =( But we have a back up plan. VIDEO CALL... huahuahuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I just have to wait for her return.. That's okay. Time past by fast.

Sometimes, in life, we just have to go through the hardest part just to get an easy job done.
And when it's done, it's either you or someone else will find it not satisfied.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-2:05 AM:))

Do you know what is perseverance?

Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

So, bestfriend almost cried reading my previous post. Syahirah did cry afew minutes after she read it. And my classmate almost cried reading it too. I am just saying what I have been thinking. But let this be a message to you people. You'll know it will be hard not having that angel from heaven to be by your side.

Wellwellwell... =DD I feel extremely happy today. God and 3 other people knows why. =DD

Don't worry, bestfriend will know too. I is really haha. OUT.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-7:14 AM:))

Everyday, since I lost one of the most important person in my life. I have to show people that im happy, when most of the time, im not. Sometimes, it feels like that important person is just going out and will come back to me anytime. But actually, she won't. Sometimes, I just realise that she is no longer in this world. Literally just realise. And when a friend told me that I can't live my life with regrets, it is actually true but I cant seem to live without them. Because regrets play a big part in my life. I have not learn fully from it yet. This friend also said I have to be independant. But I can't be, knowing that the most important person is not here to support me. There are other important people that will, but no one will support me like how she did. On most nights, before I go to sleep, I always wonder. Why. How. Why not later. Im not trying to be rude and question the big man. The night I can remember like it was yesterday, she told me not to be sad when she has to leave. She told me to make people smile. She told me not to allow anyone to be sad. She said I can't be weak when the time comes. Well, let me tell you the truth. I am weak when I think of you. But I try to hold myself together. There's no one else for me to hug now that you're gone. Although I may not be seeing you here, I will always see you in my heart, ma. I love you.

Are you coming home?

Mohd Ashraf Khan

-8:52 PM:))

Had a small video chat with Kak Nana and baby MAK. Here's a photo of us. hahahah..

Mohd Ashraf Khan