This life I live.

2011-09-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

I'm done lying. Believe me again. Even if its impossible. )';

2011-09-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry.

MAKBMA

2011-09-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright

But now everything you told me really don't apply

To the way I feel inside

Loving you was easy once upon a time

But now my suspicions of you have multiplied

And it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time

Cause I cant go on and pretend like

I haven't tried to forget this

But I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me

Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no

With everything you gave to me

I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed

As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same

And it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time

Cause I cant go on and pretend like

I haven't tried to forget this

But I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand why

I'm doing the best that I can and I

I tried and I tried to forget this

I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feeling like I was no good

Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could

And it's all because you lied

Loved you more than ever

More than my own life

The best part of me I gave you

Lived with Sacrifice

And it's all because you lied

I know she was attractive but I was here first

Been ridin' with you for six years why did I deserve

To be treated this way by you, you

I know your probably thinking what's up with Bee

I been crying for too long what did you do to me

I used to be so strong but now you took my soul

I'm crying cant stop crying cant stop crying

You could of told me that you wasn't happy

I know you didn't wanna hurt me

But look what you done-done to me now

I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's half of me

How could you lie.

NABN.

2011-09-08T03:15:00.001-07:00

It was too long for me to get it uploaded. here's the two links.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eck1OgH-f44

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IreerSS3-RI

I'm sorry i have been hurting you. I should have known better that you gave me a second chance for a reason. And now, im only praying hard you will give me a third. Because I love you. I'm disgusted that i cant keep myself loyal to you. and when you told me that i dare say i love you, my heart broke. not because u left me. it broke because i broke yours. Everytime i look at your photo, it hurts me. and it hurts me more when i think of you not returning to me and think of you going on a date. i know it hurts u a whole lot more on another level when u know what i did behind your back when only my thoughts hurt me. i will not forgive myself for doing this to you. even if you did forgave me, i will never forgive you. because you have never done anything to hurt me. its only i who has been hurting you. too much. im shaking right now. because im angry. and im shaking also because im afraid. you know why im afraid. i hit myself alot. im torturing myself for all that i did to you even though its no use because wad im doing to myself now can not be compared to what i did to you. i just want to let you know that i love you so much. the last time i said ' i wont do it again' went down the drain. i just hope you can give me one last chance to prove it. because i cant do this thing call life without you. i wasnt doing life with her anyways. i told you, im living my life for you now, if not, you wont be seeing me in the past 2-3 years. im not expecting you to forgive me but. when i thought i could fall asleep last night, i heard you crying. thats why i called. My heart, it skips so fast whenever i think about you leaving me. Please dont. I've learned from my mistake. I pomise. GOD IM SO FURIOUS AT MYSELF RIGHT NOW. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe
I ll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes
I m goin out of my head
Lost in a fairy tale
Can you hold my hand and be my guide
Clouds filled with stars cover your skies
And I hope it rains
You re the perfect lullaby
What kind of dream is this

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me
Your love s too good to be true

Turn the lights on

My guilty pleasure I ain t goin nowhere
Baby, long as you re here
I ll be floating on air
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you

I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts
Boy, you are my temporary high
I wish when I wake up you re there
So wrap your arms around me for real
And tell me you ll stay by my side

Clouds filled with stars cover the sky
And I hope it rains
You re the perfect lullaby
What kind of dream is this

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me
Your love s too good to be true

Turn the lights on

My guilty pleasure I ain t goin nowhere
Baby, long as you re here
I ll be floating on air
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you

Tattoo your name across my heart
So it will remain
Not even death can make us part
What kind of dream is this

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me
Your love s too good to be true

My guilty pleasure I ain t goin nowhere
Baby, long as you re here
I ll be floating on air
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I
Don t wanna wake up from you
Turn the lights on

———————————

I love you (x3)

Baby, I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren t complete
If you weren t by my side
You re my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There s no darkness I can t overcome
You are my raindrops
I am the sea
With you and God, who s my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I m so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and mixed my world

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can t do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I m Dangerously Inlove with you
I ll never leave
Just keep loving me
The way I love you loving me

Cause I am in love with you
You set me free
I can t do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I m Dangerously Inlove with you
I ll never leave
Just keep loving me
The way I love you loving me

And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby, you were my man
I know it ain t easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
Sometimes makes me want to cry
Realize all my blessings
I m grateful to have you by my side

Everytime I see your face
My heart smiles
Everytime it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love
To hold
To feel
To breath
To love you

Cause I am inlove with you
You set me free
I can t do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I m Dangerously Inlove with you
I ll never leave
Just keep loving me
The way I love you loving me

Dangerously (Dangerously)
Dangerous (Dangerous)
Dangerously Inlove (Dangerously Inlove)
With you (Dangerously Inlove)

Oh, I love you (Love you)
Love you (Love you)
I love you (I love you)
I m Dangerously Inlove with you
I love you (I love you)
I love you (I love you)
Dangerously Inlove (Dangerously In love)

Be with you. And only you. <3

See when the rain falls on my window
And the thunder crashes on my ceiling
It brings back the utmost feeling
Of the day I saw you leaving
Now anytime I see our picture
Thinking bout being with ya

Tell me babe

What I gotta do to be with you
Cause I'll do anything
I know this don't matter for you
I'll give up everything
You don't believe me
Then watch me prove
Of what you mean to me
And the way my pen and paper
Swear to never sing again

See when the rain falls on my window
And the thunder crashes on my ceiling
It brings back the utmost feeling
Of the day I saw you leaving
Now anytime I see our picture
Thinking bout being with ya

And it drives me outta my mind, my mind, my mind
Cause I can't be by your side, your side, your side
Girl I know words that can't explain
The way I felt when you went away, away, away
[Cause baby all I wanna do is be with you, be with you, be with you]x4
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/brutha/be_with_you.html ]
Am I trippin girl?
Tryin everything to get with you
But nothing's working
Baby I'm still hurtin
And it looks like you're not ever coming back
Feel like I'm such a fool
Cause I deserve it
Think it wasn't worth it
Now really yours cause I want you back

See when the rain falls on my window
And the thunder crashes on my ceiling
It brings back the utmost feeling
Of the day I saw you leaving
Now anytime I see our picture
Thinking bout being with ya

And it drives me outta my mind, my mind, my mind
Cause I can't be by your side, your side, your side
Girl I know words that can't explain
The way I felt when you went away, away, away
Cause baby all I wanna do is

I'm going crazy can somebody call me a doctor
Don't need a straight jacket nothing can hold me under
Don't need a medicine I've already passed insane
The thought of missing you is prominently killing my brain
And it drives me out of my mind, my mind, my mind
Cause I can't be by your side, your side, your side
Girl I know words that can't explain
The way I felt when you went away, away, away
[Cause baby all I wanna do is be with you, be with you, be with you]x4

I dont want my ex to be another man's treasure. because you are my treasure.

Drake Bell singing Down We Fall

2011-03-25T03:51:00.000-07:00

And all I can say is you saved meh~!

2010-12-10T06:26:00.001-08:00

You lied to me. You LIED to me.

2010-12-10T03:51:00.000-08:00

Since you don't like to say anything, neither will I. simple. (;

2010-12-06T21:50:00.003-08:00

a short post before i sit for my final year paper.

All the best to myself.

im losing alot of hair due to the stressness(if this word ever exists).

gonna do something to it real soon.

ive got logic gates formula(s) and other engineering stuffs in my head now. it might explode anytime soon too. hopefully after 4.

gonna have the time of my life after this exam ends.

ilovemyotherhalf.

Love, Princess.

2010-11-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

When i first met you

I felt like i had known you forever, telling you my secrets and what i didn't want ever.

you listened to me i bet you thought i'd never end, who would have thought we would become more than just friends.

Over a period of time, i got to know the real you.

A boy so caring and gentle, with a heart so true.

You've survived your life with hurt and loneliness by your side.

I told you i'd never leave because of the feelings i have inside.

I know you like no one i have ever known, and sometimes i wonder what i'd do if you were gone?

So i have decided time answers all.

If it is meant to be time will remove the wall.

I love the way we are together, you can always make me smile.

Will it ever really be forever? I guess i will have to wait awhile.

Time will reveal, what lies ahead but always remember what i have said.

Meeting you has changed my life and i really love you so, the feelings i feel for you i am never letting go.

Remember me always and i will too.

I always think of me and you.

i love you prince.

Nur Atiqah

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2010-10-29T02:49:00.000-07:00

I've put together, dried up words. But all I want to do is convey my simple feelings to you. the dark wind that blew from that day, it stayed. But I threw it away into yesterday's ruins, so I can live today with you with a smile. But still, that incident will hurt you. And as you said, you'll hold on as long as it takes. Which is why, I'll never say goodbye. Now, we'll just understand each other until nothing remains. And eventually, we will find out that is everything to us. Sadness will run down our cheeks, and becomes a river of tears. This trembling feeling will become a strong whirl and melt into each other, baby. I love you. With all my heart. The key to our relationship that I said I've forgotten, it will remain in my head now. I finally realised what you meant when you said no expectations. I get it. Like I said when you first told me that you don't want any expectations, I don't expect you to love me anymore. But I still want you to know that I still do love you. And I will forever love you. Choose between diamonds and sleep, you chose slept. Well, I choose to buy you them rocks while you sleep. And I hope that guy who commented on ur post was just kidding. Cos it striked me like lightning, how shocking it was when I read it. My darling, I'm sorry. I love you.

MAKBMA

NABN

2010-10-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

Even tho the video is short, just listen to the words. (: Beautiful.
Bby, its obvious that you were reading what you wrote down. (; I love you alot.

Today, I had a real surprise. Someone special ( up there in the video ) lied to me because she wanted to give me a mini surprise party. When the door was open, I thought it was the light outside and it was irritating cos it kept flickering. Little did I know that it was actually my bby carrying a birthday cake and singing me the happy birthday song. Sweet. And she got me the David Beckham's story set. Amazing. I love her you much. I love you so much. (:

MohdAshrafKhan
NurAtiqah

2010-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

`MAKBMA & `NABN

Let me start off by telling you what an amazing man you are and that you fill my life with joy and satisfaction and my heart with love and happiness. Before I met you I had started to lose my faith in love, and I wasn't sure there was a someone out there for me. Now I am positive that there is no one in the world that could complete me like you do or even come close. Love seems more real and true than I ever thought it could and I just want to say thank you, thank you for being persistant in your fight to win my heart because you have won it and me over completely. My heart is yours forever.

I know that we have our fights and I make you think sometimes that you can't take anymore, but in my opinion all the good times make the bad ones worth it. We come out stonger in the end and I just want you to know that I love you and I am willing to stick it out through the good and bad, happy and sad because I choose us!

i love you.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-10-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

I miss her. I really do. I love her. I really do. When can I ever have the alone time for literally 24 hours with her? She's all I ever think about. All I ever want to be with. And the only one holding the key. It's killing me slowly inside until I can be with her forever. She is the sweetest I have set my eyes upon. If only ibu allows you to go out with me on the Saturday. And be home by 9.30 at least. Things are hard. Bby, when am I going to see you updating on my blog?

I love you dear.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-10-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

Today, went out for raya to Cikgu Hartini's house, Ms Siti's house(kurangasam betol, kene kacau je) and Anisah's house. And ofcourse, my beautiful darling, Atiqah's house. And I must say, Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin, you look amazing, as always. Words can't describe how beautiful you are bby. I am very grateful (Alhamdulillah) to have you back again dear. (: I love you dear.

And a very Happy Birthday in advance to ayah. May his wishes come true, may his rezki be murah and may he be healthy always and be blessed by Allah always. (=

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-10-01T20:30:00.001-07:00

The speed bag is up. Finally.

My princess, I miss you supercalifragilisticespialidocious much please. I wish to see you everyday! But sometimes it's impossible. ): I love you bby. (:

NABN, now that's a n all star chick. (;

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-09-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

I love being lied to. I love hearing ' nothing ' or ' takde pape ' from you when we both know theres something. And most of all, I LOVE talking but hearing no response. The best. You promised you won't keep anything. So what was then? Hiding? I get it. It's different. So it's okay to do that. Have you ever realized I have been giving in just because I don't want you to shut up? You ever thought about what's going through my mind when you stay quiet? You ever thought of what I feel every time you do that? All I did was just say a little and you want to make it like is a fucking huge thing. But no worries, it's actually like a roller coaster ride for me. It's actually FUN. |=/

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-09-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

What can I say about my darling. She looked super duper amazing on her birthday. Had one of the greatest day in my life. Nothing beats that day. We went to Breeks for her birthday dinner. I made her happy. I know I did. Finally, I can make her feel what she hasn't felt before. We had great laughs. Merajok abitabit. But love alotalot. (; What else can I say, she's my princess. Ofcourse she deserves that. But not just for her special day, She deserves that everyday. She deserves the best everyday for the rest of her life. And I will do all it takes to give her the best. And bby, take ur license with me laaaaah!! =P

She.. Is my Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin. I love her.

'If you think she's a special person in your life, study hard to have a better future. Encourage and motivate each other. Thanks to you too for making her 18th birthday a very special one.' - We know who said that. (=

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-09-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

Today was awesomeeeely awesome.

the best *ehem surprise ive ever had.

thank you,love.

you wanted to know what i felt didnt you?

well, i felt like a Princess.

A real, Princess.

just th way i want it.

i felt like i was on top of th world. everyone was just making my eighteenth birthday so worth it.

especially, you.

thank you so much love, for everything.

i dont know how to thank you.

Thank You(s) wont do just good. but, yea.

imma treat you right when your birthday comes alright!

haha.

hopefully by then i already have my license lah. :D

insyallah. (:

Grown Ups was like really bursting my happy nerves out!

never really had that extremely awesome great laugh since i dont know when.

thank you for putting that smile back on my face,and most importantly, my heart.

dinner at Breeks was superb.

ending was beyond than expected.

overall, Nur Atiqah is one happykid!

Happy Eighteen Birthdaaaaaaaay to Nur Atiqah!

i love you.

Post typed in by Nur Atiqah

NurAtiqah

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-08-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought this day would be exciting and happy, I thought wrong for now.

MohdAshrafKhaninabe

NurAtiqah

2010-08-31T03:22:00.000-07:00

Stop disrespecting you gerl. Before she leaves you. I'm sorry by. You're just irresistable. I'm trying, but not hard enough. Tomorrow, when I send you back, nothing else but just the one. Promise. I myself can't stand it. I know now why you changed you tone when you talked to me just as i reached home. And I know why you said what you said after it happened. I don't blame you. Only have myself to blame. No point saying sorry when we do it over and over again but, I am sorry. I love you.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-29T03:53:00.000-07:00

I eat, sleep, breathe NABN. That's it.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

Great day. Buke lua even though I couldn't puase. My sugar mama looking absolutely amazing as always. Bought her a tiny gift since the previous one is almost finished. I just love her. She's fabulous. She seems imperfect to the others but really is perfect to the one who loves her most. She's Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin. I hope ibu allows you to go buke lua again with me for your birthday. There's some place in mind I had thought of to bring you to. Hope you'd like it. Love you forever bby. And to Sulaiman, even though kau tak tau aku ade blog, sorry ah pasal aku jealous biler aku tau kau slalu call atiqah. And about that thing you talked to me along with Sheila and the few others, thanks nigger.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-22T08:55:00.001-07:00

It doesn't feels right because you don't seem to be happy about it.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

I need to take it out. This is really making me angry. I have alot to say but I dont want to. Forget it.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-21T06:35:00.001-07:00

That's just a smile showing that she's aware and agree for me to be in love. -My Princess

MohdAshrafKhan
NurAtiqah

2010-08-20T04:02:00.000-07:00

For real now, let's kill me.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-17T03:29:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I really would like to jump in front of a car, end up in a hospital just so I can see you. Why can't overprotective parents learn that they have to slowly let go of their child as they watch them grow. Instead, they get more and more strict. I'm sorry bby. )=

MohdAshrafKhanina

NurAtiqah

2010-08-16T02:55:00.000-07:00

I'm so in love with you. You got me standing again. You are one in the world. You know your name is already tattooed across my heart. You know that. (;

I love you

Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me

And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
sometimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side

Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you

Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I love you , I love you, I love you
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

When bad times became good, and good times becomes great. And its all thanks to that one special person. Who had never left me but only for a few months. Who had never stopped thinking about me at all. Who has been loving me still. Thank you my dearest. I will alwaysh love you. XD

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

What we had yesterday, was absolutely sensational. Down right out of the world sensational. It was a never to be forgotten. N E V E R ! ! Wow by, it's beyond sensational, beyond believable! I don't know how to explain it but just picture yourself waking up to a beautiful scenery in the morning with the girl of your dreams. That's what I felt yesterday afternoon. And I am sure I will feel that way again in 10 years time. Except this time, I won't have to imagine myself waking up to a beautiful scenery with my dream girl cos I will be waking up to a beautiful scenery in he morning with my dream girl. Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin. =)

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-08-01T04:13:00.001-07:00

Do you know what it's like, getting up every morning feeling hopeless? Feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness. Even if it's never going to be with you? I am flat out. Out of my mind. I know that. Still, I hope it will be with me.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

And so I got her the necklace as soon as the cash dropped into my bank. Since she knows what's the price, I won't mind saying it either. It's a $329 necklace from TAKA jewelry. Not exactly the $400 necklace I said but it just calls your name when I looked at it. You've said it but I'll say it again. I hope you'll like it. And i really hope it means something special to you. I just want that everything with you. I was planning to give you with a bouqet of flowers but you don't like them much so maybe it might be meaningless if I get them. I love you by. Thank you. For all... I just hope you'd love me too (=

MohdAshrafKhan
NurAtiqah

2010-07-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

I guess i'm just too afraid to lose you again. But even so, I shouldn't be saying things that is stressful instead of helpful. I'm sorry b. I haven't been sleeping since last night. And I still can't sleep cos' I am worried. Please don't ignore me. I've got things to talk about everytime I think about you but then again, you won't even return my messages. =( I am not a burden to you. I get it. Thank you b. And.. I love you.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

Take me to hell. Just bring mama back. ='(

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

For tonight, ouch. =(

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-27T03:18:00.000-07:00

I miss you. (: Can't wait for this Sunday. Ok now I am too damn hungry to think about what to say. But i'm never too anything to think about my sugar mama. =) Anyways, tak sahor this morning, had to control myself when my idiotic friends kept saying how good the food is and how better it would taste when you're hungry and now waiting for buke. Stomach rumbling like there's a drummer in there. I'm even too lethargic to be typing so I will try to continue tonight. If anything special comes up. But you know even when you say hi, it's special to me. I love you b. (=

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-25T06:27:00.001-07:00

I just want things to be a surprise for you, you know. Sometimes, the things I do, I just hope it impresses you. This time, I want you to say it to me first. Say that you love me. Cos I really do love you. And what I dreamt of this noon after I send you home really made me happy. But also, it made me think.

MohdAshrafKhan
NurAtiqah

2010-07-23T20:43:00.001-07:00

Well, here goes another year. I miss your touch. Your kiss. Your jokes. Our midnight chats. I miss you ma. Why must this happen to you ma. Why can't you be at home now so I can just look into your eyes and make my day when you smile. I do accept the fact that you are gone but I hate the fact that you had to go. I just wish I can see you again. Still I go to room hoping to see you, still I think you are just going outside coming home soon. Still I think i'd be listening to you laugh. Still I think I can feel you loving me here. I just miss you so much ma. I know its impossible but will you come home? I really want to see you again. ;( I want to cry till blood has to take over the tears. I love you ma. The most. Second comes my queen. Then my family. And next, my princess.

Can anyone help me. I pray for you to return to me. I pray for you to open ur heart just so I can enter. I pray for you to be by my side when I leave this world. I pray for you to love me till forever. But I still don't understand. Please say something. I Love you.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-22T04:26:00.001-07:00

I just feel happy. (= If you ever return, i'll be glad to call you my gerl again b. I'll be glad to tell the peeps that you are my gerl. Fact, they don't gotta ask. I'll go to them and say it. I love u b. (=

7.40 seE! Si. ;)

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-21T03:31:00.001-07:00

So tell me. What's the reason I didn't make it in your future? ='(

Part of me is saying, I am stupid. Can't complain bout that. Part of me tells me to go destroy myself. Won't complain bout that either.

I love you.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-20T03:48:00.000-07:00

Stop making things worse will you.

I regret every minute of everday we aren't together since I broke up with you. Iunderstand, you don't want to be with me. Or him. Or anyone anymore. I'll leave you alone if you really want me to. I get it. You are in the toughest situation right now. I'm sorry. I just thought we can really have that something special we've always had again.

'Are you gonna leave me alone?'

That depends, I'll never leave you alone in terms of always being there for you. Whenever you need me, I promise you. Even if its in the middle of my class, or middle of my work. Even if its 3am in the morning. I'll always have time for you.

I will leave you alone if you say I am making this too hard.

But I never want to lose you again. I can't afford to. Even if you decide not to be with me again, you will forever be my princess. I love you. Really. =/

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

Thannk god. Amin!. It made me feel great knowing I could make you happy dear. But like I said, no matter how happy I made you, it will never be enough for me. Today morning, I sent her to work. Haha moments. -,- Haha at me instead of with me! And then, I was super freaking early for work! Like 1 hour! So, I took out my iPod and started stealing photos of my baby, hehe. Waited till 7.58am til I started walking to KFC to get my breakfast (yummy). And went back to the store only to find out that it opens at 8 on Sundays. And then, the most epic, most bahalol and I REPEAT, most BAHALOL thing happened. Only BAHLULS can do this. The goon, (don't wanna say who) wanted to sit on the stool I was sitting on. And so I did, since malas nak layan. She moved the stoll slightly forward, took her book, looked at the stool again, HOLD the stool and sat down. But she MISSED and fell backwards, leading her legs up in the air! Hahaha! So setoopid! After all those, I counted the hours till I could meet her again, my sayang. =) But I had to make her wait for an hour and a half. =( Sry by.. And we took the train from Outram to Punggol, and took bus number 3 home. Alot of funny things I tell you! and 4/5 of it is about me. -,- I still love you. Well, she says I cant meet for for the whole of next week. I'm still wondering why. =/ Its okay. And by, about your hair style, I promise, you'll get it back. =) End of this month, or early week of next month. I think that's all I want to say.

With Love,

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

[ Only 6 more days to your 2 years ma. I love you.=) ]

2010-07-17T03:25:00.000-07:00

Please don't do that again by. U always made my heart skipped a beat everytime u say that. I'll be with u till u are ready. I'll wait for u cos u once waited for me. Take ur time to gather urself back together. I know its hard for u to trust me now too. I understand why. I love you by. Kisskiss.

Walked into a wall on the way home just now. While eating my strawberry cheesetart. Shiiieet. Into the wall, HEAD FERST! Omg... Talked alone for hours. She kissed me thru the phone! Like ohmygawd! Abe makan nasi ayam as soon as i reached home. And talk to Cik Tipah while eating.

And now, as time goes by, my cough gets worse. And I get tired very fast. hmm. God help me.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

What are the odds of getting caught today. I had a feeling we'd get caught someday. I just hope she'd just forgive and forget. I feel the guilt everytime I think of it. Even if you wont forgive, atleast forget bout it please. I am so sorry. =(

Anyways, I thought I would be spending a few hours with my bby slenget much but something came up. Scared a quarter of my life that I was shaking. Anyways, I gotta mild bronchitis. I would be going for a full body check up after I get this bronchitis treatment done. Just hope it wont get any worse.

Everyday I have been thinking bout you. Let's do what we do best. Love each other. That's all I wanna do. Love you till I go on to my next life, and still continue to love you. I think i've tried all possible ways to show you that I love you. I hope u feel it too. I love you sayang. =) Ive never been anywhere near as very happy since I was with mama until now. And only you has made that possible. I may show to others that I am laughing and all but they dont know. Nur Atiqah Nordin, you are my sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang. And I am her monsterrrr!!! Grrawr-ing loud please. Love her much can? ;)

MohdAshrafKhan
NurAtiqah

2010-07-15T06:08:00.001-07:00

Collapsed yesterday night. Couldn't call my bby. I feel bad that she was feelin worried. =( Goin for full body check up tomorrow. And finally meeting her again. Not seeing you for afew days feels like afew years. Dont think im crazy in love okay! I just miss her so much. God knows how much. Its ok if we don't step into the huge door yet. I know we will go as plan but we can take it slowly. I know there's still much for us to learn about each other even though we already knew each other for 5 years. And my dream to have breakfast with you and then walk by the beach after that will eventually happen. You and I. I'm glad to be yours again. Only girl in my life worth sharing my love. I love you too bby. And btw. I'm her monster. ^^ And I love her.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-13T05:26:00.000-07:00

After very long, I finally felt your pain after I kept reading your past entries. I was heartless before, which is why I didn't knew you were in pain. I let the love of my life suffer 3 years when I go out trying to date other girls. What the hell was I thinking back then. You didn't open your eyes big enough to see she was by your side the whole time? You didn't open your heart big enough to know we belong together. What the fuck is the matter with you? One of my own rules was never to hurt a lady physically. But I didn't knew I could hurt them mentally.

And if you really were to come back to me, then I swear I am very lucky. For not only has HE given me the second chance, but so did you. I really can't believe I was a beast. I'm so angry at myself right now. I'm crying right now because i've hurt you too much. I don't want to hurt you ever again. Apologies won't do anything much because these are just words that express. I wish I can do something for you. All the guilty conscience has come. Even when I know I made her happy, I know it's never enough. Because what I did to her was monstrous. I am a monster. Tell me that it's enough and I will accept it. But I will never think it is enough.

I do wanna be my boyfriend. And hopefully when things go well, I want to be your husband. You really are my princess. I miss you so much too. And most importantly, I do love you. I never want to hurt you anymore. I never want to make you feel alone anymore. I don't want to make you miss me because I am not yours but I do want to make you miss me because I am yours. My princess. My number 1. My Beyonce. My.. Nur Atiqah. I will love you till the afterlife. I will promise you anything.

I'd buy you the star in space to prove that I really do love you. I'll cross the world just to see your beautiful eyes again. I'll fight off anyone or anything that tries to tear us apart. Because nobody will ever tear us apart again. I'm very sorry I did all those to you. I love you. I love my Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin Bin Mohd Noh. =)

And that, my whoever is reading. Is a pure post that really came from my heart.

MohdAshrafKhan

NurAtiqah

2010-07-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

Today, was the best day i've had for so far this year. I spent half the day with her. I'm not gonna say everything. But it feels good to be back home. ;) Its 12.31am and I can't sleep. I tried tossing and turning on my bed but its not working. And I am in a fight with my headache right now. I want to lead that happy life you said. Just live in Singapore will do. But we will travel around the world and you know what. hehe. Well, I won't say anymore because the rest are between me and her. ^^

S92340453J. U know I love u very much. =)

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-09T23:30:00.001-07:00

I wish... We can have an endless kiss. ILY.

Here's the names we had planned. Well only we know for what. =)

Ana Nyla
Ana Amiliah
Ana Aulia
Adriana Natasha
Ana Adriana
Nyla Adriana

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling like, exactly how I felt when I knew mama passed away. You still decide on being with the guy you know for 4 or 5 months. I guess you are thinking it's right. Everytime I think of you now, I get uneasy, heart beating fast and my brain forms all sorts of words and pictures.

Lest just wait.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-09T06:01:00.001-07:00

Why can't I relive the past? Don't we all wish we have powers. I want to turn back time. Back into your arms again. I can't... God knows how I feel now. ='[

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-09T03:17:00.000-07:00

Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?Why did i leave?

Why did I leave?

I told you, because I was afraid I wouldn't spend time with mama. I hate myself for this. I need you. I want all those things you said. Your skin tone, my lashes, your eyes. Living out of asia. 2 girls. Please come back. I'm crying as I type this. Crying not because I am sad. Crying cos I can't believe I was THAT stupid to leave you. The worse feeling was being forgotten by someone you will never forget? I never stopped thinking bout you. I talked about you with my 2 ex. Shafeqa ( The gerl you met during the night cycling) and Shika. I've never stopped thinking about you. I always wonder what you are doing. What you know about that. Speak a little from my mind. Today, I was very close to just jumping in the middle of the road hoping a car would hit me. I'm aware of whatever fines that may slap my face. But I just want to stop thinking. I'm just not me when I don't have you. And now, I just don't get it. It's not that you can't do it. You just don't want to do it. That's what I think. Probably you'll say you can't because you got him. But can you for once realise that he does not ask you about your daily life? He said even though you don't get to see each other, he still loves you. Even if you couldn't see each other, he could atleast talk to you on the phone and give you a message til you fall asleep! LIKE I DID. Oh wad? the bugger's tired? Talkin otp is too tired? Fuck that! For all you know, he's just waiting for you to ask him. I'm pissed off right now. I need a breather. I don't know if you'll be disappointed by what I have said here but its time I get some off my chest. I'm sorry.

Fucking dumb schmuck! Ima FUCKIN DUMB SCHMUCK!

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

2 days of attachment gone. Still nothing done. Just things to be clarified. blablabla and we're done. Had 2-3 hours of sleep last night. Planning for the same thing tonight. Even though my eyes are already hurting as im typing this out. The headaches and body aches due to fatigue. Well i'll go thru just about anythin for u bby.

Had a short chat with her brother. Kid Afiq. hahahaah.

Today, she didn't believed that i'd really go up to her house and get her to eat. So I proved it to her. End up getting a cup of iced green tea for myself and some happyhappy stuff. Just so you know, the first move wasn't done by me. =P Anyways, we talked, laughed (AT me, not with me). Bbygerl got jokes now. Grrawr..! And I almost came down to my knees honestly, but I knew she wouldn't like it so i just asked while staring deeply into those gorgeous brown eyes. But I still had no answer. Maybe time will tell. =/ After awhile, went home and bumped into her mom. Sweet lady, friendly. =) I just love her alot. =) And I took a candid photo of her when I made her laughed. And use it as my MSN background for our chatbox. But I can't show it because it's only between us. I (heart shape) you N.A =)

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I just have to try being strong alone. Sucks to feel this way. Why must I leave before. No, why didn't I came earlier. Such a stupid fuck! There's this beast inside of me that really needs to be released. I'm just so angry at myself for being the coward nobody thought I'd be. Why is this so hard! Why am I so.. I don't even know the words to describe myself. Can't explain my anger right now. I feel like jumping infront of a cab and pass out and be warded in the hospital so I don't have to think. Even if its a short while. My brain is thinking so much, I can feel it pulsating. Like I told your brother, I will not be in a relationship with any other girls except you. I'll never leave you. I just gotta wait and hope, like you did when you needed me. You have my word on this. I love you.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

.thgir lrig ruoy gintaert si esle enoemos ekil skooL.llew gniod t'nsi eh wonk uoY. won tuoba ksa I t'nac yhw tuB

Where were you when she needed you. You BIG coward.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-03T06:06:00.001-07:00

I feel weak. Maybe because I am sick. Headaches, cough, pleghm. Might be because I am overworking my body. My knee may be busted due to misalignment but it will not stop me from training. Even if I have to run through the pain. Nothing will stop me.

I hope what you posted is meant for me. I really hope we will walk the same route back to our new home. I really hope it will happen. =(

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

The next boxing prodigy. The future fighter of the year. He's right here.

Now, I wish you can come back. I know its tough for you. I understand what you're going through. I'm sorry I am making it harder for you. But i've said it before alot of times. I need you with me. I can't have anyone else because you are different (obviously). I wish he can understand what we've been through and I wish he would understand if someone were to explain to your boy. =/ I love you Nur Atiqah. =(

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-07-01T02:43:00.000-07:00

I know it's pathetic to express feelings through a song. But i guess what I put out is related to what we had.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-06-29T03:49:00.001-07:00

So... What now? I feel like you are telling me, this is the end. I will not stop. I promise you. I won't go on because I can't. I will continue to pray for what I had told you before. I'm crashing. Back down again.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-06-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tha Prince is back

Coming soon is his very own, princess. =)

(insyallah)

I am back on my feet and walking. Thank god. For all the years I didn't really noticed, only after you had to suffer those 3 miserable years that I realised you were mine. Why did I even leave you in the first place. Well, this time, I won't. Won't even think about leaving. Apologising won't do any good because it won't make up for those 3 years. But I hope you can get pass that and that you still got my back. I'm not going to force but I know one day you'll return. In fact, i'm getting the feeling that you are already returning. I don't know how to express it already. Cos erytime I think bout u, thousands of wonderful words enter my mind. U just amazin. U're erything ibu said. I will take care of you. I will show you all the love u need. I will be there anytime u need. U're erything I always wanted sweetheart. I assure u that. Im ready to put u ahead of me now. Not turning back on anything. Like I said, u might be happy with him but that's a lie, give me a try. I'll make u happy in all ways possible. It wont be weird. I pray for ur return, my good friend who is a teacher, well she prays for u to return back to me too. Belie(believe) that. I just can't belie that you still don't realise wad he's doin to u...

Anyways, this past few days, I have been spending time with u which means alot. Sure, we had tears. Well u had tears. hehe. But I guess it was worth it. I spend most happiest moments ever. And I got pictures from u. One which i favour most! And one which is supre duper adorable when u were a kid. Alot of things happened this past 2 or 3 weeks. And I want things to be back again. This time u said its different? because this time its no more game. There never was any game. Last time was just an idiot thing. This time, its for real sweetheart. Back to wad we did. Well part of wad we did. Walked home from pasir ris interchange. Went grocery shopping. Made brownies for her. Teman her do her hair. (and met our senior and had laughs in the salon, kecoh) Stupid gaylord story. Shouldnt have told the story! Then we went out together with her little brother. Alot of funny, irritating times. Fun. And on the way back, I heard wad i wanted from her brother. Well thats for me to know ( which I already do ) and for u to find out. One down, one and half to go. I got only 2 photos of her. 1 when she's getting her hair done ( she's actually smiling in the photo XD ). And another which are the pictures she gave me.

Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin, I ♥ you.

MohdAshrafKhan

2010-03-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

Been a long time since I have updated my blog. Alot has been going on since. Had some awesome laughs todae at grand mama's house. Celebrated daddy's birthdae. Bought for lao po the hamster she wanted. Really hope she will like it. Lets all think about our loved ones and think about those happy and never to forget moments. And after that, go have a nice laugh if you would at my new hair. d^c^b

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2010-02-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

So we have a sleep over tonight... Told everyone that im staying up to watch soccer.. But really, im just staying up to watch over some things. But ofcourse to watch soccer also. Multi task la. Anyways, just got my mass gainer, felt feverish after drinking it. Maybe cos my body hast adapt to it yet. I hope I can grow with the help of this mass gainer. Thanked my friend for introducing it to me. Thanks daddy for supplying the last $25. ( U reading this, shut up cos its my money idiot. ) Aaaand got to see my 3 little rascals when I was at the airport to bid goodbye to my cousin Anisah who is going Australia to study. Short sweet simple good night bye.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2010-02-03T03:33:00.000-08:00

Well well well, I got a new laptop now. And as always, the same damn thing happens when I get something new. ( You know I am talking about you, and I don't care ) The router is spoilt. But still, I have my own ways of getting access to the net. And the reason why I am sick is because i over exert myself during exercise. But I shall still return to my training very soon. Short post.

See ya!

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2010-01-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

I go the hardest, flow so retarded I'm disgusted with myself I mean ugh where do i start it.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2010-01-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

No wonder you always don't want to talk to me. Cos u don't want to tell me that you found yourself another man. =/ I'd still come for you, whenever.

MohdAshrafKhan

2009-12-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

It's time you leave. All of you. Leave me, and let me be alone. Guide someone else. I don't want to be guided by you, through all you useless and sinful thoughts. Let him guide me. I have had enough. Of all your whispers. All the things being said by you? Lies. You are keeping me away from everything. Say your prayers. It's your last goodbye. Don't even think of returning. You won't even recognize me. I'll never follow your footsteps again.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-12-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

Check it out. Wad I'm gonna do to my hair after the 12th Dec. Give me your opinions..

2009-12-09T03:48:00.000-08:00

Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness... Pursuit huh... See, each and everyday, we all get closer to the real minute... me and myself, always from the wrong path. But now i've come here to motivate.. To be heard, means to say something of value.. So i make this my life; my liberty.. And everyday my pursuit. What about you?

I must be heard.

'Tha Prince'

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-12-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

Alright people, I am back from Malacca.. And I am going back to Johor tomorrow with daddy's side now.. Tiring but wadever.. Still gon be fun with all the aunts who is btw such fun and caring people.. Awesome.

Anyways, I am not going to be sleeping till I am in the car on the way to Johor later. Which means, any o' u suckas wanna chat with me, is fine. Cos I am down right bored. And hungry. I am this close || to ordering macs... The phone is calling my name to dial 6777 3 777 and is requesting me to sae

' one ( the new burger ) meal please, no upsize, can i change my drinks to coke light.. how much is it? can i get some curry sauce please.. thanks.. and when u reach my door, just knock.. dont want my family members to wake up.. thank you very much... you welcome..'

Should I? Ooohhh the temptation.. I should really do that. I ought to do that right not. Bubbye..

'Tha Prince'

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-11-26T03:48:00.000-08:00

Finally...! My router is working again. That means, the standard always-on-msn Mohd Ashraf Khan is coming back. Thank god. Quite boring if you can't use your computer, yes? Anysways, lets get back to reality... What has happened this past few days...

I got a call from Dee on the day of her last O level paper. She sounded quite confident when we talked. All the best for your results okay! Now, all the best for your new job. haha..

Yesterday, I had an inter-class competition for soccer. As always, I didn't play well. I just stood by and watched as the ball rolled away from my feet and let my opponent score a goal. At least we got 2nd. Even though we got trashed 6 - 1 at the finals. In the end, the over all class winner the class of YV091A (my class). Hooray.

And lastly, my 91 year old year great grand uncle passed away. From what I heard, he passed away after the azan of Zohor, and smiled as he left. Take care Nana.. We shall meet again, insyallah. Al-fatehah.

Now, I am just typing to kill time as I am going fishing later on. Which is now.. Well, thats all people. I am tired, I feel bad, I feel guilty, I am cold, I am hungry, I am ashamed and I am out.

'Tha Prince'

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-10-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

I just don't get it. What did I do? We we're so close before. Sitting anywhere till it's 9.30 or 10. Now, you won't even talk to me and I clearly don't even know why. I've been asking but you still won't reply. This sucks you know. Not having you to share all my comments and funny stories and stuff. I really don't understand why. Please say something.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-10-09T10:12:00.001-07:00

Mamaaa.. It's my 17th birthday today. I wish you were here to be with us. I went to the kubo just now to see them bones shifted to the new place. Dada's bones to be specific. I even touched it. haha. And then I went to urs. Gosh I havent seen u in a long long long time ma. And I am still wondering if u are comiing home. Most of the nights, I know you are beside me cos I felt ur presence. Like right now.. Anyways.. I guess my birthdae wish of having that cake shaped like a boxing glove or a boxing ring won't come true. It would be awesome but I dont think its important. Cos ive thought of a new wish. A wish that no one can put a price on. My wish? To be a better man. Not just for myself ofcourse. For everyone who knows me and for anyone who wants to know me. I know u've wished me happy birthdae but I just wish i can feel ur kiss on my cheek and me doing the same thing to u. U know... Aaaaahh.. tears.. Hope to see u soon mama. I love you. Till the end of this world and the beginning of the next, I will still LOVE YOU.

Happy birthday to me. Hooray.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-10-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

Most of the things isn't how it is before. I wonder why. After saying some stuff. Some things have changed. This sucks. dammit.

Well, ive shaved my head again. And this time, a friend says I look fierce. And another says i look good. Okay laaaa... Nothing much to update. Bubbye now.

sry

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-09-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

Well, in a few weeks... My birthday will be arriving. Im not expecting many gifts due to the recession now. Actually, im not expecting any gifts at all. I told bestfriend about my wish. Just that one particular wish. How it would be sooo awesome to have a cake shaped like a boxing glove. Or a cake shape like a boxing ring. Wouldnt it be super cool! Wow.. Thinking of it already gets me nervous. hahaaa..

Anyways, its soo nice to have someone to listen to your problems and comfort you, but its sad when you found out he/she is going away for some time. Bestfriend is going away for..say, 2-3 weeks? And worst part is, she is away on my birthday. =( But we have a back up plan. VIDEO CALL... huahuahuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I just have to wait for her return.. That's okay. Time past by fast.

Sometimes, in life, we just have to go through the hardest part just to get an easy job done.
And when it's done, it's either you or someone else will find it not satisfied.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-09-11T02:05:00.000-07:00

Do you know what is perseverance?

Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

So, bestfriend almost cried reading my previous post. Syahirah did cry afew minutes after she read it. And my classmate almost cried reading it too. I am just saying what I have been thinking. But let this be a message to you people. You'll know it will be hard not having that angel from heaven to be by your side.

Wellwellwell... =DD I feel extremely happy today. God and 3 other people knows why. =DD

Don't worry, bestfriend will know too. I is really haha. OUT.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

Are you coming home?

2009-09-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Everyday, since I lost one of the most important person in my life. I have to show people that im happy, when most of the time, im not. Sometimes, it feels like that important person is just going out and will come back to me anytime. But actually, she won't. Sometimes, I just realise that she is no longer in this world. Literally just realise. And when a friend told me that I can't live my life with regrets, it is actually true but I cant seem to live without them. Because regrets play a big part in my life. I have not learn fully from it yet. This friend also said I have to be independant. But I can't be, knowing that the most important person is not here to support me. There are other important people that will, but no one will support me like how she did. On most nights, before I go to sleep, I always wonder. Why. How. Why not later. Im not trying to be rude and question the big man. The night I can remember like it was yesterday, she told me not to be sad when she has to leave. She told me to make people smile. She told me not to allow anyone to be sad. She said I can't be weak when the time comes. Well, let me tell you the truth. I am weak when I think of you. But I try to hold myself together. There's no one else for me to hug now that you're gone. Although I may not be seeing you here, I will always see you in my heart, ma. I love you.

Are you coming home?

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-09-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

Had a small video chat with Kak Nana and baby MAK. Here's a photo of us. hahahah..

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-09-08T05:46:00.000-07:00

I... Bought 2 pair of T-shirt for baby MAK (Mohd Anniq Kashfi). One pair quotes ' Daddy loves me more than football' and the other quotes 'Lovable'. Hahahahha. very cute! $25. Bout it from mother care. Wow quite ex.

Anywaysss.....

I have made a new friend who is very, very sweet and friendly. Has a beautiful and cute voice. She is exrtremely amazing. Her name? Siti Nadhirah. I now have a new friend. A friend, that is hard to find. =D

Well, nothing much to say now. So have fun reading my updated blog and Good Night

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-09-02T03:53:00.000-07:00

Very cool song. I think it came out a year back? Maybe 2? But it sure is the shit. My boxing idol raps the last verse.. Be sure to check it out...

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-29T09:05:00.001-07:00

I am improving alot in boxing. My body isn't stiff when I spar with my trainer. I move around alot more than usual. I give accurate punches. Goooooooood...My match has changed to either Januray or March next year. But I gotta gain to 60kg ferst.

Just imagine
"Ladies and gentlemen, fighting from the blue/red corner, 'Tha Prince' Mohd Ashraf Khan. And his opponent, fighting from the red/blue corner..." and the crowd goes wild 'Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!' Haha...yeaaa...

I think.. my magic isn't working anymore. I've been listening to the same music repeatedly for quite some time. Actually mean something. I lost in a game that im good at. Damn.. Real nice knowing you.

I is HAHA, OUT.
Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Played dodge ball for 2 consecutive weeks. And today, since most of the balls are spoiled due to us grabbing it too hard, we played hand ball. Had number of good shots and scores. After that, suffer! Bulan puase pon penat kan diri.. haha.. Anyways.. my face smells of green tea.. ^,^ hahahah. only a me and lin know why.. XD XD Syiok oiii... Next fridae, buke lua with my classmates. Tmrw, buke at Faisal's house cos im gonna have training afterwards. Gotta work hard. Even tho my ferst match is at the end of the year, I still gotta train hard..

Anywaaaaaayss.... I volunteered myself in the F1 race to help out. And I really hope I can get it. Cos they are paying me $300 man. Power or wad? Power.

Gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight gotta gain weight .

Phrase of the day: hurrrrlllee up nigges hurrrrlle up. haha.. A joke between my classmates and I.

Thats it my nigges. I is HAHA. Out.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

This is like totally last minute. she didnt know anything bout it till I post this. Eh friend, I is haha.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

A little doodle drawings with Syahirah ( Yang masi di PRCS tuu. hahahah!! skola bodo. )

That is my anak sedare. Took this last year I think. At the zoo. So cheeky the smile. haha..

Itu Pakcik MAK sama anak sedare BABY MAK. hahahaaa... Lasty, that's Kaisah Alya. I keep on forgetting her name. We always call her Alyaa. okae.) (P.S. Don't know why Baby MAK face like that.)

I is HAHA.
Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-17T02:19:00.001-07:00

Even though we werent good friends. You were still a part of our class. Sorry if I had done any harsh things to you man.

To Amrikpal Singh

Rest in peace

(1992-2009)

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-08-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I gave her what she wanted for our supposed-to-be second month. That's a Ben&Jerry's Ice Cream. With a purple flower. Just 1 purple flower, a note and the ice cream. And she said, Thanks for the ice cream and the flower. Appreciate it. (: There is one other thing but not necessary for you guys to know. Just felt happy that she liked it. =) You're most welcome.

I said but before, and you asked but what. This is it. I hope we can really work things out and get together again. I do not know if you can make it possible. But I want you to think real hard about it.Cos I have not stop thinking about you. You are always running in my mind.

I have said to afew people that where ever I go, whatever I am doing, I am constantly thinking. About everything. ~~Psycho?~~OrGenius?

Anyways, please la, to whoever it may concern, go fuck off and get ur cocks cut okae. Seriously you are just proving to yourself that you are a coward. Maybe more but definetly nothing less.

I watched The Hangover with best friend NurulHuda yesterdae. hahaha. Was daaaaaaaaaamn awesome. hahhha. Totally rockin! FYI, she helped a little with my gift. haha. A bestfriend that is hard to find.

Now, I am gonna study till i go school. Got test. 6 chapters to study. And im only at chapter 2. 2 down, 4 to go. Take care..

Now, here is a list of people who I have been told that I look like them. You choose, and tell me at the tagboard. If you want to sae I look like shit or wadever, go to the mirror.. Look at who is staring back at you. And think twice. Cos that damn mafucker is the shit ass looking biiiiittcchh..

Michael Jackson ( before turning white )
Chris Brown
Ludacris ( Short hair )
Saiful Apek
Craig David
Marlon Wayan
Mohd Ashraf Khan

The 7th option is just for fun. Think carefully and answer. =))

HAHA

out.

Mohd Ashraf Khan

2009-08-07T01:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it's over between Azlin and I. Im still sad but I dont want to show it. On the brighter side, we didn't fight with each other when we broke up. We end it maturely. And we are still contacting each other so that should be good. Not like other regular people who just ended their relationships and said they want to be friends but rarely talk to each other. That's stupid. We still msg, chat and on certain days, web chat. ahah. Only thing u gave me is never out of my sight. Well ofcourse I do miss you. I have planned out some things but I am not ready for it yet. We just have to wait for time. =) To you, thank you for the nights and the outings and everything else. Greatly appreciated. ((=

But...

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-08-03T09:15:00.001-07:00

Stop doing all this fucked up shit can? Can u just be normal for the rest of ur life? Why do u fucking like to think so god damn much?! Huh?! Why?! Ask ur god damn self why u jebroni.! Wad tha hell is tha matter wit chu. Its always this and that. Its always you you you. wad about others jackass. ever spare a thought for them? dont think so fuck face. For once, let her be special. Make her feel special instead of ending up having an arguement.. Can u? And then ask and see for ur god damn motherfuckin self whether she does enjoy or feel happy. Didnt u just realise that its always her thats been doing the right thing? It only seems wrong cos she's not use to this lovey dovey. Take it slow playa. Dont rush the game. Nigga u better think twice before u wanna sae anything next time. Make her feel happy dammit. She already has freakin tiring things to do. the fucking least u can do is show that u motherfuckin care bout her. She is tired and u down there makin things worst for her. Think nigga think. Goin out to my girl, im sry..

Whoever reads this, i swear.. keep ur comments to urself. Its between me and her. I'll only talk about it if i bring the subject up in the conversation.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-08-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Todae, had abg kassim and abg azzad's majlis cukor rambot.. So i carried the tray around following abg azzad since zameer followed abg kassim. And while i was following abg azzad, my heart felt so cold. Literally cold. And i thought to myself...Why.. ok lets get pass that. Even tho the question is still in my mind.. BTW, I carried baby M.A.K who is only 2 weeks old. Ferst time sei angkat baby that young. I usually wait till they are 4-6 months old. hahah. And Cik Arshad said i sajak angkat that baby!!! hahahahhahahahha...

Well, i havent been a good bf lately.. I suck. But honestly, sometimes i cant seem to trust u. maybe cos we took it all too fast. but still, we're together and we can work things out.

I have a confession to make but i shall not and will not talk about it.. But then again. I guess it can never happen.. Time will tell..

I think im beginning to gain weight a little. even tho im fasting. good aint i.. Been working out every saturdae with Faisal, Ari and Haikal. Doing some of our own boxing. Faisal teaches us since he has been to a boxing school.

My dream is to win a gold medal for Singapore in the Olympics and continue to be a professional boxer. And im gonna achieve that. Just wait and see. People say I wouldnt make it. That I wouldnt get to the top. But there was nothing they could sae that could make me stop..

I am out.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-07-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

Wheee.... Went out with bby todaeeee... Our first anny.. Although I was damn irritating, I still have to sae that I had such a great time with Miss Horny. ahhahahahahaha. It's an inside joke between us. heheee... Well, the pictures are in her blog. I'll check it tomorrow. And I gotta say, she was extremely gorgeous today. I can never forget what she wore and how she was todae. Best dae eva!! hahaa...

Anyways. Like I said in my very ferst post. I dont layan stupid senseless no life people who dont even dare to put just their god damn name on my tagboard. So this go to whoever that passerby was.. Its a great waste of my time even just to read your god damn motherfuckin tag. So why dont you scram pussy.. Syiok kan kene maki. Wheee. Like riding a rollercoaster..

(P.S. There's actually more things that we did. But I can't help it bu to only ask myself why I can sometimes forget things I did on my most enjoyable night. =[ )

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-07-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

Fooooohh!!! Had a freaking 9 HOURS sleep todaaaeee. Since 9.30am till 6.30pm. Why do i sleep at that time some of you might ask. Well, I am doing a volunteery work at the Airport for the Asian Youth Games. My shift starts from 11pm to 8am. Btw, I can go in the transit lounge. hahah. Walked in some stores. Most of the time, we end p not having any work to do so we watched tv in the transit lounge or sleep. So my friend decided to sleep. And when its time to report back, we all went in the perfume store and sprayed on the tester. hahaha.

And now, my body is aching...From the everynight walk, pull ups at the fitness corner before going up to my house and ofcourse due to the fact that I do not have enough sleep.

Today, kakak went shopping. She bought some t-shirts for dad. But she bought it at the wrong size. So the 2 t-shirts are mine. hahah. After I tried them, I walked by my sister and she said i smell. Mesti la smelly ngok! Orang baru bangon lepas tido 9 jam seii... And instead of showering? I did this. Updating my blog. ahahah. Okae next topic.

Yesterdae night, girlf and I had the alot of interesting topic to chat about. ahah. About this 5 Thailand gay dudes dancing to the wondergirls song if im not wrong. It goes somethin like this. ' I want nobody but you *clap clap, clap clap* ' For some of you, dont try to imagine me sing. And then about me gaining weight. And she losing weight. And about this indian movie who wants to act like MJ.(Innalillah) Then chatting about her being a GIRLY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! hahahahah. That joke is between me and her actually. ahahah. Then came to the most important part. Understanding each other. hahahhahaha. And quite afew more. Just that I have forgotten. Sorry lerrr.... Okay what else can I think of... hmm... The only thing im thinking about is tomorrow (still considering) and next Saturdae. =D hahahaha. That is it I guess. Nak mandi and siap for night shift again.

(P.S. Next time kakak going shopping, I AM FOLLOWING!)

(P.S.S. I think this is my longest post. I THINK)

Mohamed Ashraf Khan

2009-06-25T10:48:00.000-07:00

Haven't update my blog since I don't know when. Anyways... To whoever it may concern, I really am sorry and I shoudn't have talked about whatever we talked about okae. Seriously I was damn boring an I so.. I just wanted to know what you would sae if I brought that old subject back. I didnt knew it would be that disturbing or whatever... So I am sorry once again. It's ok if you don't forgive me. Just want you to understand is all. Take care.

Soo.... I just got my FIGHT NIGHT ROUND 4!!!! Woohoooo!!!! And I LOOOOOOVE it!!! Jyeaaaahh!!! AHAhaaaaaa.. I'm gonna play it everydae maynnn!!!!! Daaaayyymmmm..... foooh... ok Goonight.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-06-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae at Vivo, sat at this place la with the black 'doll' hanging then spinned one round at the pole there. And there's like 2 damn lesbos also sia sat beside us. I witnessed them fucking kissing siaaaaa... ahahahha. Then when I want to balek, heard this malay dude confronting a chinese dude. I only hear ' You want war? I can give u war..' from the malay dude. thats it.

Then today went to Vivo to get my slippers from Pedro. And I am going back to Vivo on Mondae to change the colour of my Pedro slippers. hahaha. Then I buy this Superman baju. Wanted the dark blue. But got the white. This Superman baju not those common one ah. Not just the big S at the centre. Ni ader S and some other prints on also.

And btw, THANK YOU KAK FARAH FOR GETTING ME DAVID OFF COOL WATERS PERFUME. k night.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-06-09T08:09:00.000-07:00

I guess it's the best date I had! ahahahhahaha. Well atleast I think it is. Totally awesome. Watched Night At The Museum 2. Funny show. While waiting for the movie to start, we jalan2 and masok random kedai-s and talk about lots of stuff. ahahahahha. After that, makan at burger king. Then when I send her home. Then I tahan my pee and rushed home. Well didn't rush home till I reached the bus stop where I alighted ah. Ok that's it for tonight niggs... Chiows...

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-06-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

Saaaaaaapppp... hahahhahah. cute kaaan.. That's me siaa.... hahah. zaman kentalans.. hahah. That graduation picture was when I was in K2. And I can remember that everyone, everyone means including the boys also, had to use a lipstick with the colour thats near to beige colour gitu seii... ahahhaahah. siol aaaahhh.. ahahhahaha. Have a good laugh at this picture. But dont forget to admire it. =)

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-05-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was my ferst paper. I'm studying for tomorrow's paper. I just bought a game of Guitar Hero World Tour Full set. Yea yea its a little old but so whaaat... I played the drum career. Quite hard even with easy as the difficulty. I'm changing to a different boxing club. Vanda boxing club. Better then the club I previously joined.

I've made a new friend yesterdae. Very nice. Very sweet. She pretty too. Pretty short. ahahahhahahahahahah. No la. kidding only... She really pretty. Chatting with her soon enough. After she gets back from school? ahahahaha. school.

Well, all the best for my exams. Bubbye now.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-05-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

Lets keep it simple. Last thursdae, I had Sports & Wellness. And we played handball. I scored 3-5 goals? k bye.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-05-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

For the first time, I went boxing twice in a week. Tuesdae and Thursdae. Did some punches with Uncle Dic, then go for 5 sets of speed bags after Ive done my 5 rounds of 6 stations. And I did the same thing for Thursdae. And I watched the sparring match. It's like merepek you know. Jusr 2 rounds for only this 3 person. Then finish the whole sparring session. Whats up with that? ahaha. I was asked to spar but I didn't want to just yet.

Anyways... Do I make u people feel embarrased when I go out with u? Cos I dont see the problem why some people dont want to go out with me. Must I be in the standards before going out or something? That's bullshit. Full loads of motherfuckin bullshit. Take care.

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-05-10T04:19:00.001-07:00

Happy Mothers Day to you ma.. ('=
Love you alot alot. =')

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-05-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

Fooh, for today..... I did the speed bag. And wow, I couldnt believe it either. The ferst time I joined, I just tried punching it. But missed alot. And this, the second time, was like a pro. I rarely missed. Did around 7 sets. Ferst 4 sets, just did 1 2 left and right hands. Keep switching. 5th set, did 25 on each hand. 6 set 50 on each hand. And the last set, I did 100. But kept switching hands. So considered 50 on each hand. Then, I did some shadow boxing, a little puches on the hand mits with coach. And ofcourse the ever tiring 5 sets of 6 stations after the 2-3km run. I'm tired now. Gotta sleep and wake up at 6.15am tmrw. Gotta reach school by 8. Chiowss......

Md Ashraf Khan Go getta.

The things I would do to get you back here on earth. =')

2009-05-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday! went to my boxing school. Met 2 new coaches. 1 quite strict in boxing but he is fun. So, ofcourse run again for that 2-3km. But this time, felt like its too fast. I mean, the other time I ran, was slow. But this time, faster. Ok not bad. So, sweat like crazy. Then, I did left jabs. After that, work on right straights. Then did both left jab and right straights combo. I brought my own gloves there, and coach was shocked and asked where I got the gloves. So I said its mine. OUH! he shouted siakk.. ahaha. Terkejot skejap oi. Skejap jerr... Then I jumper kakak at Bugis. On the way there, had to walked pass The Red District. First lane, kene keja by 2 prostitutes. -.-' The faster I walk, the louder they call me. aahah. Then the second lane, 3 siooool... At least prostitutes.. ok ah not bad. BUT! On the way to my boxing school, kene panggil ngan BAPOK LA SIAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK.... ahahahhaa. funny ah. Step buat muker fierce, then jeling at him/her. ahahhahaha. That's on wednesdae.

For fridae, wanted to go to East Coast and play Lilliputt. Skali tak jadi. I don't blame you. It makes sense that he should scold u if u go out with me. ahahahha. Nvm. So, i went home straight. Maennn gaaaameee... Then malam, played soccer with abg and friends. Wahh, im sooo not good at soccer anymore. Wanted to kick the ball, got tackled by abg's friend. So i end up kicking his leg. But he still can relax. But my toe got injured. So I just continue playing like nothing happened. Must tahan that pain. Until now, still swollen. And abg still can tell me that im okae at soccer and why dont want to play for the past few years. And I fogot wad I told him. Then, that night, played Pro evolution Soccer at ps3. Challenge Yusof and Hasan online. ahaha. gereeeek. Ofcourse I lost, I dont play the soccer game much. But at least i get a couple of beautiful goals. 1 from cross when i counter attack and the other from corner. And both happened after my opponent scored 1. ahahah. That's it. Now, cannot play much. even tho i trade in my oblivion for X-men origins: Wolverine. Woohoo!!! Exams like around the corner. So must start studying.... Chiowzxzxzxzxz....

Md Ashraf Khan

2009-04-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

Damaged? Need any repairs?

Md Ashraf Khan